Telling homesickness apart from a firm decision
The first sign is usually timing: a request that surfaces in the first month, especially around a festival or family event back home, is more often homesickness than a settled decision. Ask directly and gently what is behind it rather than assuming — a specific answer (missing a child’s birthday, worry about a parent’s health, a wedding she wants to attend) points toward something that might be manageable with a phone call, a video visit, or simply time, rather than an ending.
A vaguer answer, or one that repeats after you have already addressed the specific concern, is a stronger signal that this is not homesickness settling down. Give the conversation room rather than pressing for an answer on the spot; a decision made under pressure, in either direction, tends to be revisited later.
- Ask what specifically is behind the request, not just whether she wants to leave
- Note whether the timing lines up with a festival, anniversary, or family event
- Watch whether the feeling passes with a routine or repeats after a few weeks
What a workable middle ground looks like
Before treating this as an ending, it is worth naming what is actually adjustable: more frequent calls home, a scheduled video visit around a specific date, help arranging a short home visit if her contract and the household’s needs allow it, or simply acknowledging that the first two or three months are the hardest stretch for most placements. None of this requires guessing at a legal process — these are household decisions.
If the underlying issue is dissatisfaction with the placement itself rather than distance from family, that is a different conversation — see the guide on when to consider replacing a maid for how to weigh a fit problem against a homesickness problem, since the right response to each is different.
When it is a genuine decision to leave
Once she has confirmed, more than once and without a specific fix changing her mind, that she wants to end the placement, treat it as a resignation rather than continuing to negotiate. Get the date in writing, however informally, and move to the same process any departure follows.
The notice-or-indemnity mechanic, the paperwork, and the notification duties that follow are the same regardless of why she is leaving, and are covered in full in the dedicated guide on ending employment properly. What matters at this stage is recognising the decision is final, rather than treating every subsequent conversation as another negotiation.