What a genuine mismatch looks like versus a settling-in period
A settling-in period tends to show gradual improvement: the same mistake happens less often each week, she starts anticipating routines without being told, and specific corrections actually stick once given. A genuine mismatch looks different — the same issue keeps recurring despite clear, repeated feedback, or the friction is about something less trainable than a task, such as how she communicates under stress, whether instructions are followed as given, or whether the household’s pace and hers are simply too different.
Language and cultural adjustment can look like a fit problem in the first few weeks when it is actually a communication gap that narrows with time and clearer methods — see the dedicated guide on communication problems for how to tell the two apart before concluding this is about fit rather than how instructions are being given.
What to check before deciding it is not working
Confirm she actually received clear, specific expectations rather than general ones. "Keep the house clean" and "vacuum the living room and kitchen daily, and wipe counters after each meal" produce very different results, and a mismatch judged against the first is often really a communication problem judged unfairly.
Check whether the specific friction points map to one or two fixable skills rather than the whole placement. If the issue is truly narrow — cooking, a particular childcare routine, or a housekeeping standard — the dedicated guides on those specific topics are worth working through before concluding the fit itself is wrong.
- Confirm expectations were written down and specific, not assumed
- Check whether the same one or two issues repeat, or whether it is a broader pattern
- Rule out a language or communication gap before calling it a fit problem
Deciding what comes next
Once you have given clear expectations, a fair adjustment period, and the friction is still a repeated pattern rather than an isolated issue, it is reasonable to treat this as a genuine mismatch rather than something more time will fix.
From there, the decision is between working through a formal replacement conversation with your agency or ending the current employment properly, both covered in their own dedicated guides — this page is about confirming which situation you are actually in, not the process that follows once you know.